Constant Vigilance!

Life has been an interesting rollercoaster the past few weeks. I never was one for living with routines or following trends but yet here I am, routined to the max. I guess routines are safe in the end they protect you and shield you from all the harm that might come from the world.

Yes, my blog title is Harry Potter inspired! Alastor Moody constantly shouts the words above as a means of keeping everyone on their toes. It's a good idea to always be aware of what is going on, even if you feign ignorance for other purposes. I admit that I do it sometimes, or I wait for someone to make themselves clear before I assume anything.

My activities of late have been:

• Running around like a mad fiend with my mother.
• Working when I get a call in, which isn't often.
• Delighting in simple pleasantries like a heater. We had no heater for a few weeks and it sucked balls, trying to heat the house with the stove and lamps and the crock pot did not work. 
• Spending time with my friends, I feel a little left out due to everyone having finals. But then I think about the fact that even if I were going to school right now, I wouldn't have finals like they are.
• Playing some games.

I cried this morning, my dear friend who is also my ex from years and years ago (Oh yes, people, you can be friends with an Ex) reminded me that he has lung cancer. I can't believe that someone my age could die any day now, he's only a few days older than I am and he's so incredibly ill.. He says he'll get through it but when he told me that the band he's been hanging around with wrote a song about him and told me the song name.. I couldn't bear to think of it. The song is called Black Lung, quite a depressing name..

The next few weeks are going to be nothing but hectic running around, Christmas is coming and that always means a subtle hue of chaos falls over my home. I'm a stressful person and the main cook in my house, my mother is a fantastic cook but after all the years of cooking for her kids and husbands and all that.. She just likes a break, so I come in as Susie Homemaker and voila *thumpthump* I go into a cooking frenzy! I admit I'm looking forward to making cheesecake and all the other goodies.

Naanaimo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaars!

No Escaping Destiny

 [Disclaimer: This is not only my first blog post but it is also very long.  Enjoy!]

Those words are so profound when you really think about them, what is destiny? What does destiny have in store for you? And above all of the endless ideas that are provoked the instant that you read it, the most prominent is "Destiny is truly inescapable isn't it..?" Men have lost their minds while trying to solve the mystery that is Destiny, men have gone to the ends of reason to know the answer to what they are destined for. Who is to say that we're destined for nothing at all, who is to say that we are destined for anything at all? Certainly we can say that things do not happen without a reason and others will argue that things happen without any reason at all.

I for one believe that Destiny does exist for the simple reason that, as I said to someone not so long ago, the people in our day and age need a reason to keep on going. In the world where murders and rapes are so mundane that they barely make the news, where bank robberies are a thing of the day-to-day, we have to hope and pray that there is more to this life, more to this existence. We have to believe in the idea we're destined for something, don't we? There are those who say they believe in nothing but at the end of the day they are really just hiding themselves behind a mask of lights, shadows, smoke and mirrors. We all know that classic line by someone whose name escapes me and has no real point being mentioned here,  "To err is human"  and if that is a truth which is widely accepted by most intellectual people in the world today then I dare say that lines such as, "To believe is human" and "To love is human" are equally true. Why aren't they as widely accepted? Why can we accept the flawed facets of our nature but not accept the fine ones?

I'm not necessarily here to begin skewing into a hundred different tangents at once, I'm mostly here to talk about things in category of that endless enigma that is Destiny. At times my thoughts can be rather grim, "Oh who knows, I may be destined for *insert bad experience here*" and that tends to come with depression as a whole. I also can think of a thousand different wonderful scenarios that could possibly blossom from my life as it is today and now, who knows what will happen when you turn a corner. Who knows what person is going to impact your life in what way, how much one person will end up meaning to you in the long run or how they will impact your every day life to it's core, will they make it or break it? Will they be a guiding light in your life, will they be a storm cloud hovering over your every move or will they simply be a neutral force that doesn't affect you or anything around you in the slightest.

Destiny as it is defined could and does control who we are as people, I have said a thousand times that I wouldn't be who I am today if not for the experiences that I have had my share of in the time that I have lived. Now without destiny in theory this would have never come to pass and my life would have been as bland as Grandma's oatmeal. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt that my friends would not be the same without what they had experienced and gone through and all of it is attributed to what we are destined for in the great tale of the world. I have many times thought of what will happen when I die for it is something that I am not comfortable with happening to me, I think "Will I leave any memory?", "Will I fade into the darkness the moment my light is extinguished?", "Will I linger on the plains of consciousness and watch my loved ones grow, age and join me in the eternal afterlife, whatever that may be?" Now don't get me wrong I am not by any means a religious finatic who is toting a cloth bound tome of any sort attempting to press onto you my ideals. I am if anything a religious pacifist I am Wiccan and I accept anyone's religion. (I do admit I have issues with people in cults and satanists who believe in sacrifices, cannibalism, mass suicide or what-have-you. Those are understandable issues though.) I do not know where we are going when we die and I do not claim to know, I will not be able to answer until the day that I die if I have the capacity to 'answer' at the end of that road that is.

A few days ago I got a phone call from a friend I hadn't heard from in 4 or 5 months. He has by no means had an easy life I've never met someone whose been through as much as he has. He's in his 30s now like my big brother and has lost most of what he had 'going' for him time and time again. Hundreds of broken relationships and a thousand friends who walked away from him, the legal system fucking with his life at just about every single turn since he was a little younger than I am now. And the inspirational part of it is that he had the ability to say something that I never expected from him of all people, "At the end of the dark day there will be a silver lining of the darkest cloud. No matter how bad things get they will get better." At that very moment it hit me that it does get better if someone whose been through so much can still say that it will get better. Since that conversation I have been unable to actually get depressed because my feeling of hopelessness isn't really there. I have a new inspiration to my life that I cannot really shake I believe that no matter how bad things get that it will be alright in the end.

I am no longer afraid of the foreboding uncertainty that is the next corner ahead I will not face what may come with apprehension but instead I will wait for the next fork in the road and go the path that suits my stride. Destiny isn't always going to lead us to a patch of roses but it will be the ride of a lifetime and I cannot wait to see what it has in-store for all of us.